IT'S BETTER THAT MOM DOESN'T KNOW!
Spring Break--"Master the Moment"
Dan did not join his buddies in college freshman orientation activities.
Without Presidential aspirations and the discipline to adapt to
the campus regimen of dorm keggers, sorority mixers, and late night
carousing, this suburban "Jersey Joe" decided to take
a job in retail sales. Sounds nice, but reality spells "cashier"
in a sports emporium. Anyway, Dan figured that he would eventually
enroll in local junior college and then graduate to a nearby Rutgers
campus. Unfortunately, he had not saved any money for college and
didn't have a clue about what to study. Life trolling the malls
seemed so much cooler. Besides, high school sophomores were so easy
Dan was living at home with the ostensive goal of
saving money for college. In February, several of his high school
buddies invited him to drive down to Daytona Beach for spring break.
Dan was ecstatic. College partying--big time--without the hassle
of studying and attending classes. He jumped at the opportunity
to chug beer at the pool by day and cheer wet t-shirt contests at
night. Although Dan was short on cash, he intended to show the guys
that he could still party hardy. Living at home with his parents
was not going to deprive him of enjoying college life--spring break
Dan's Gold MasterCard ensured that the gang would
remember his prodigious partying. As soon as he got to Daytona Beach,
Dan rented a limo and took the guys out to cruise the strip. Cases
of cold beer were the least expensive of his extravagances. After
failing to attract the attention of any lustful co-eds, Dan moved
on to the "exotic" dance clubs. And there he garnered
considerable attention with generous tips and expensive bottles
of champagne. Dan even procured "lap" dances for his friends
and "special moments" with his favorite performers--all
courtesy of MasterCard.
What a week to remember exulted 20 year-old Dan on
the drive back to Jersey. Upon returning home, the fuzzy memories
of his drunken stupors came with a shocking price tag. Dan's credit
card statement arrived with nearly $5,000 in charges for the week--nearly
the cost of tuition for a year! It would take him a year to save
that much money. And they weren't even real blondes, lamented Dan.
The moral of the story? Not everyone is college material--even with
a Gold card.
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